Quote of the Day

"We're only here briefly, and while I'm here I want to allow myself joy. So fuck it."
- Amy, Her.

Sunday, 30 January 2011

Instant Happy Face: Ladder Goat

Don't worry, it'll all make perfect sense...

Are you feeling down? Saddened by the futures prospects? Upset that I haven't posted since Thursday nor done an RE:View yet? Then I have just the solution: anti-depressants Ladder Goat!

Prepare to have your minds blown and your sides split as your roflcopter takes flight when watching this painfully hilarious clip; after the wtf's have passed, that is. Yep, it's a Dutch guy playing a game (Call of Juarez, I believe) and laughing his head off in a rather peculiar manner, after witnessing a strange incident involving one very big-balled goat. I'll say no more, in fear of spoiling it for you. Enjoy!

(Just remember to stop watching it after about 4 minutes, it gets kind of crappy from there on out.)

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Phoenix Jones: Inspiration or Fantasist?

From this picture, I'd go with 'International Knob Head'

So you may of heard of this Phoenix Jones guy lately, the so called 'Masked Guardian of Seattle'. He's basically a guy that's trying his hand at vigilante crime fighting, costume included. But is this man a heroic inspiration of humanity or just another comic-obsessed lunatic in PVC?

    Phoenix started out 9 months ago, nightly patrolling the Seattle suburbs to serve justice to any bad-doers. Since then he's claimed to have been stabbed, had a gun pulled on him and (quite recently) had his nose broken, but has come out of it all relatively unharmed, and that's thanks to his costume. Incorporating a bullet proof vest, trauma plating and a a utility belt (containing a taser, mace and tear gas), Phoenix's suit seems like it jumps right out of the pages of a Batman comic. "When I walk into neighbourhood, criminals leave because they see the suit"  he proclaims.

  Sounds awesome right? A real life vigilante dude, prowling the city streets at night and has a bad-ass suit. It's basically a fan-boy's dream come true. There's just one slight issue... He sucks. Seriously, I don't mean to put a downer on things, but he's not exactly turning crime lords black and blue or foiling evil plans to take over the world now, is he. It's just him going out each night onto the quiet streets, occasionally chasing off rowdy drunks or breaking up local punch-ups. Not exactly Superman...

    But let's not be too hasty. I mean, maybe he's just a normal guy; a normal guy simply trying to make a difference in his community. Nothing more, nothing less. And shouldn't something like that be a good thing? That someone's actually decided to try and do something about the things that bug them, instead of whining about it all day. He's stepped up to do something he believes in and I guess that's something in its self, to be honest with you.

     So maybe he has read one too many comic books, and yeah, I'm not going to lie, he does look like a bit of a prick, but he's certainly standing up for something. And that's what we should look up to him for; that he's  had the balls to do something. How many of you have had moments in your life when you just felt like going against the flow and doing something you felt was right, just to have those feelings pushed back down by the way of modern day society? It doesn't matter that he sucks at what he's doing or that he's probably just some geek extremist in a costume. This guy is one of the few people who's acted on those feelings of righteousness and therefore should be an inspiration to us.

 But then again, maybe he just gets off on it, in which case, you should ignore this entire post....

What are your thoughts on Phoenix Jones? Weirdo? Hero? Publicity Stunt? Pervert? None Of The Above? Share them in the comments, folks.

Sunday, 23 January 2011

Killing Stuart Little

Ahh, the joys of MS Paint...
Ever since I saw the first 'Stuart Little' movie back in 2000, I've always had a hatred for the little mouse. Whether it was his stupid little outfit or squinty mouse eyes, I'm not sure, but there was something about that rodent that really got me annoyed. But surprisingly, I put my 6 year old self through it all again in 2002, with the imaginatively named sequel: Stuart Little 2. Throughout the whole thing I just sat there and prayed that he'd have a horribly gruesome accident involving lot's of sharp objects and fire. Okay, so maybe those thoughts came a few years later while watching a TV rerun or something. I wasn't that violent as a kid....
     Anyway a couple years ago I came up with a few ideas on how to finally dispose of the goody-two-shoes little prick. They included tying him to switched on light bulbs, dropping him into an electric shredder and even leaving him outside stuck to multiple pieces of bread, leaving him to the mercy of the local winged aviators. A little sadistic? Perhaps. But after some rather voluminous google searches, it appears I'm not the only with this view.... 
If you've got any suggestions of how to murder Stuart Little, share them in the comments section and maybe one day we'll will catch that dastardly mouse... 

Saturday, 22 January 2011

RE:View: 127 Hours

127 Hours; essentially a movie about one man and a rock, right? Well, no. Not at all, in fact. This is a film about humanity, desperation and survival. It follows the true story of professional hiker, Aron Ralston (James Franco), as he dares to cross the harsh Utah Canyons by foot. But after falling and consequently getting his arm trapped by a boulder, Aron must face a tough decision to avoid impending death...
          From the first 30 minutes it's clear that Aron is an egotistic, cocky daredevil without a care in the world. With multi-shot scenes depicting his journey to the canyons by bike and car, along side cleverly placed footage of crowds of people to symbolise Aron's distance from the rest of the world. This sense of loneliness prevails throughout and is incredibly daunting against the vast open canyon backdrop. But it's director Danny Boyle's true merit that he can make you feel for such an otherwise unrelatable character.
         However, the films most magnificent achievement is the atmosphere and tenseness felt by the trapped scenes. The close up camera angles really build up that sense of claustrophobia and isolation witnessed in Franco's performance as the struggling protagonist, and it's here that his acting skills really come to light, as it's him that has to carry the next 60 minutes on his own. Every emotion is carefully portrayed as Ralston begins to publicly accept death to his hand held camera over the 127 hours of the ordeal. Through various flashbacks and nightmares, the solitude starts to take it's toll, with paranoia, fear and even irony playing on Aron's thoughts.
     Then the turning point comes, the defining moment of the movie; the epiphany. After a gruelling time of drinking his own piss and falling in and out of food deprived conciousness, Ralston finally examines his life and realises that this is all one persons fault; Aron Ralston. Boyle perfectly uses these scenes where Ralston is having vision-esque journeys to lead us into the final act, the last deed of a desperate man's will to live; the amputation. Luckily, Boyle doesn't hang on to the horror of the situation (despite the gore, which actually made someone pass out in the cinema when I saw it) and instead shows it for what it is; painful liberation. And it's this truly captivating scene that sums up the entire movie - a  man's struggle to free himself from what is really killing him; himself.
      All in all, this is a magnificently well made piece of cinema, blending great acting, superb direction and a truly powerful and compelling real story. The complex themes, underlying metaphors and overall moral proves once more Boyle's diversity and ability to handle such different subject material each time and yet still come out on top. 5/5 Stars.

Note: Go and see it, but if you're squeamish, beware...  

So there you have it, my first RE:View. Now, I know it's definitely not perfect, but hey, it's a learning process. I had the Empire review at hand to help me with the structure and what not, just so I could get it off the ground a bit. If you have any comments you'd like to make, feel free, just as long as they are constructive. If you'd like to find more out about Aron Ralston, here's his Wikipedia page if you're too lazy to google him. But that's it for this weeks RE:View, but check back next week where I'll have something different to talk about. Stay safe and stay tuned.

Friday, 21 January 2011

Who is xXH4RRY5C0P3ZXx??

So after some extensive research on last weeks mysterious commenter, I have narrowed my suspects down to but a few individuals.

Suspect No.1:

Suspect No. 2:

Very Suspicious....

Suspect No. 3:

And Suspect No. 4:

Or maybe even this guy:

After a considerable amount of deliberation I have decided to go with *DRUM ROLL*................. NO. 2!!!! Come on down!

Note: If you didn't quite understand this post, don't worry, it's kind of an inside joke between me and my friends. XD

Monday, 17 January 2011


Kind of like this...
So I've had a migraine for the last two days, which has been pretty much hell. Unfortunately, as my Mum says, you don't know how it feels until you've had one, and just a few of days ago I challenged fate by asking myself the very question of "What does a migraine feel like?". Well, Fate, you win this round... But I'll be back.
        Anyway with the time I've had on my hands today, thanks to the forsaken graine of Mi, I managed to get round to watch 'Watchmen', which has been infesting my Sky+ memory for a while now with it's big headed 5%. But, what can I say? It was AWESOME! I can't believe it's taken me over a year to see one of the finest comic book movies ever made (and seeing as it's one of my favourite genres, it's also a little embarrassing...). It's themes of justice, war and sacrifice are all blended perfectly into an alternate cold war era America, . But before this turns into an RE:View, I'll leave it there. But seriously, it is GOOD.
      Now, I have to thank xXH4RRY5C0P3ZXx for being my first legitimate commenter! Sorry Angie253, but you don't really count, if you know what I mean (but thanks anyway). So keep the comments flowing people, and you never know, I might even mention YOU!

Saturday, 15 January 2011


Thinking about doing a weekly thing where I will review something. Be it movie, game, book, anything; I will endeavour to bring you my thoughts and opinions on it. It'll be called RE:View (cwutididthar?), and I'll take requests from anyone willing to actually read this blog (Thanks, Mum!). Who knows, if it goes well, I might even do, dare I say it, video RE:Views! God I hope that isn't already patented... Just googled it, looks like I'm good. So you can look forward to that, starting next week. Peace out.

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Computer Survival Guide

That's Microsoft for you...

When using a computer, there are many dangerous things waiting to spill your blood. These come in many shapes and sizes and could strike at any time. So here’s my ultimate survival guide to using a computer.


  1. Watch out for trailing wires, they’re always looking for an unsuspecting victim to trip up and laugh at. Make sure all of these menaces are safely and neatly tucked behind the unit.
  2. Keep your food and drink away from your computer at all times, as one drop of “tea” or “ketchup” will render your unit useless. Well, maybe not one drop, but you get the idea. So take it to the kitchen, fatty.
  3. Make sure your unit has plenty of breathing space, as getting too hot can cause suffocation of the computer , and you don’t want that kind of blood on your hands now, do you? Do you? Do you?! You do, don’t you, you sick bastard!
  4. Be careful when testing your electrical equipment, they can give you one nasty shock that you won’t forget anytime soon.
  5. Got an exit or fire extinguisher near you? No? Then you better smash that window and take a leap of faith, because that bitch is about to bloooooow!!! But seriously, keep one near in case something does go horribly, horribly wrong…


1.      Don’t look at that screen too long, because this will be an incredible workout for the eyes. I’m talking weights, treadmill, row machine, the whole deal. And that’s for the eyes! So, just take a break every now and again to prevent eye strain.
2.      Is your chair at the right height for looking at your screen? No? Oh, then I’m sorry, but you are going to die of severe back and neck problems. That’s right, so keep it at the right height if you want to live!
3.      RSI, the usual suspect. Just when you think that typing all day couldn’t do a thing to you and then BAM! Your fingers and wrists are as good as a chocolate dart board or an inflatable fireguard... Wait, uh, something like that. So keep your elbows close, and your hourly breaks closer!

Yeah, it's just some stuff I did in a loooong and booooring ICT lesson a while ago. Hope you like!

Wednesday, 12 January 2011


Cheers, Toby!
Today's post goes out to my favourite YouTube 'Vlogger', Toby Turner (Tobuscus). If you haven't heard of him then you have been missing out; he's hilarious! Music spoofs, games commentary, literal trailers, he does it all. And what's cool is he starts all his vids with his camera in 'precarious' and comic places, and questions the audience on why the hell they were there. It's pretty awesome, especially this montage of all his best 'Hey Audience!'s.
   Over his 3 channels (TobyGames, Toby Turner and Tobuscus) he's accumulated over 800,000 subscribers, and thanks to his popularity is able to shift ALOT of t-shirt's, all containing some of his iconic phrases such as 'Peace Off' and 'Bless Your Face'. You can check them out here.
  First time I heard of him was when he released the Halo Reach Literal Trailer, which to this day still remains one of my favourite Toby vids. And now, after subscribing to all his channels, I can't get enough of him! So if you  are reading this, then you ought to immediately visit these gems; TobuscusTobyTurner and TobyGames

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock, Bock

Tight, bro.
Had an English 'Controlled Assessment' today, which was a right barrel of laughs. Two hours sitting in a dusty old hall with 119 other boys, writing about 'Power Bocking'. Wasn't that bad though, as I managed to slip in the phrase: 'Rock out with your Bock out' and gave Bolos Santosi a cameo role as Bocker World Champion. Damn, just thought of a good movie reference I could have used; Meet The Bockers. Power Bocking, if you don't know what it is, is about doing jumps and shit on a pair of Power Bock Stilts. Those are those jumping stilts you occasionally see some prick milling around town on.
  Anyway, I have a twitter account. Clickidy click here for it. Just so you know, I never go on it, never post on it and don't really follow many people. But if you're into that kind of shit (that shit being stalking a deserted twitter account) then go ahead and follow away, I won't judge. Honest. 

Monday, 10 January 2011

The Apocolapse! It's now!

Dead Crows, FlashForward Style.

It seems that all around the world animals seem to be randomly dropping dead. Blackbirds in Louisiana, Jackdaws in Sweden and now over 2 million fish in Maryland. The cause? Well apparently no one knows. The cause of why they don't know? No one knows. The cause of why no one knows that they don't know? No one knows. I could go on, but I won't. Besides, it's not even that funny.
    Anyway, this kind of shit's been happening all over the world. Although it's kind of obvious that it's probably just cold weather, some believe it's some sort of warning. The beginning of the end, if you will. My theory? It's an incredibly elaborate April Fools joke. I'm telling you, April 1st, they're all gonna jump right back up and go "Ey! We gotcha!". Then we'll all laugh and share drinks... Oh, Happy Days...

Sunday, 9 January 2011

My YouTube Account

Thought I'd best provide a link to my desolate and miserably unviewed YouTube channel, so here it is! http://www.youtube.com/user/Rimji11
It's basically just a bunch of shaky, low quality mobile phone videos. Nothing special, as they mostly revolve around my friends doing boring and uninteresting things including: Limboing Under Random Bars, Freaking Out Over Woodland Snakes, Going Up and Down Slides In a Small Park In Paris and many, many more thrilling highlights. And if you're lucky, you may even spot a Black Squirrel roaming the leafy outlets of Central Park.
Hopefully, I'll post some actually decent films one day. In fact I'm working on a small project right now... Stay tuned.

Oh and don't forget to check out the critically acclaimed 'James Goes Spaz', above.


OMG! First! No, no I'm not like that. In fact, I don't think I've ever posted a comment like that on anything ever before. Actually, on that subject, isn't it funny when people do that, but completely fail because by the time they've stopped freaking out that they are actually first and have sent the thing, someone has already beaten them to it and thier first becomes fourth? Not that anyone is likely to actually do that on here, because I doubt anyone will actually read this, rendering the whole thing absolutely pointless.
  Anyway, the kind of things I'll post on here... I dunno, maybe some awesome youtube vids, maybe my opinion on current news, maybe just some random mutterings (much like this one). Anyway, this is my blog and if you're reading it then you're awesome, because you blatantly don't have much better to do than read a stranger's first struggling attempts at blogging... Congrats.