Quote of the Day

"We're only here briefly, and while I'm here I want to allow myself joy. So fuck it."
- Amy, Her.

Monday, 28 February 2011

RE:View: Paul

As voted by you.

With previous commendations such as Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg's latest Hollywood outing has got a lot to live up to. And with the classic Edgar Wright being replaced for Superbad's Greg Mottola in the directors chair, I'm sure I wasn't the only one with a few worries. But thankfully, Paul delivers, and in more ways than one...

  Now, for Pegg and Frost, geek culture is literally second to none for them, both having confessed their love of all things sci-fi. However, as much as this relays over to the first 20 minutes or so, (where their characters (Graeme Willy and "The Writer", Clive Gollings, respectively) are lapping up the illustrious Comic-Con) you'd be forgiven if you lost some matter of interest. Those unfamiliar with such nerdy traditions and culture may get lost within this short intro section, unawares of the various in-jokes and references being thrown out. Fortunately for those affected by this ailment (certainly not me!), this part doesn't drag on too long, and you'll be back laughing before you know it, no matter how many chuckle-some references you're missing out on.

  Luckily, things start to pick up with the introduction of Paul, the recently escaped, obnoxious alien, (perfectly voiced by the equally obnoxious Seth Rogen) who needs the guys help to escape the feds and return home after 50 years held captive. With a third party member aboard the nerd's RV (they were planning, in true nerd style, to visit all of Americas UFO hot-spots), there's a much better group dynamic in place, especially with the straight talking Paul creating tension between Graeme and Clive, as he befriends one and aggravates the other. And, being the movie's title, Paul is the source of a lot of the comedy throughout, as he accommodates himself to home comforts such as booze, bongs and bagels.

 And Seth Rogen carries this burden of the comedy gold mine very well throughout, with both his voice acting and motion capture, where he manages to pull off the slacker stance and feel to the character. Meanwhile, Pegg and Frost play their parts well, but as genuine nerds themselves, it's not an over demanding challenge. Love interest Kristen Wiig troupers through as the one-eyed, bible-bashing romance element for Pegg and Jason Bateman is the well played, if stereotypical, head agent chasing after the gang along with his two slapstick buffoon lackies. Plus, Glee's Jane Lynch and the legendary Sigourney Weaver drop by...

 Plot wise, there's really not that much to say. Being somewhat of a predictable narrative setup, Pegg and Frost combine genres to keep it innovative and to stop it from becoming stale. Road trip meets cop-chase, and comedy sees action as the tight script unfolds around the audience. But the characters are where the script really shines, with each being given an eventual arc, that sees each personality transform as Paul influences them personally along the journey.

  But all this character developing doesn't mean that Paul misses out on some hilarious hi-jinks and set-pieces, such as Kristen Wiig's newfound ability to curse, the curious interest in Paul's "spaceballs" held by certain characters or the various car chases, to name but a few highlights. 

  The numerous references to the likes of E.T., Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Star Trek and everything else just make it that more special for those who can find them and shows a real dedication to the fans who, in turn, have shown real dedication. And, why this may seem odd, it makes you feel good recognizing a certain quote or action from a past sci-fi classic, especially if those around you don't -  it's a rewarding experience that you can wring so much out of.

 By the end, you'll come out of the cinema (or computer, for all you pirates out there...) feeling happy and, surprisingly, somewhat moved by the final scenes. And although he hasn't exactly put his own stamp on, director Mottola manages to pull off a neat, enjoyable package with the fantastic script from Pegg & Frost that left me smiling for some time after. It may be more mainstream and "Hollywood" than Shaun and Fuzz, but that doesn't make it any less sweeter.

4/5 Stars

So that's your RE:View of Paul, just like 44% of you asked for. I hope it was what you wanted from it, and it felt good knowing I was writing it because people wanted it. Sort of a motivation/incentive kind of thing. Anyway, I'm assuming you all noted the use of a double bracket (a bracket within a bracket) and hopefully that Inception-shit I pulled with it didn't confuse you too much... That's it for now though, but a new trailer tomorrow! Stay tuned.

Sunday, 27 February 2011

The Sunday Supdate: 27/02/11

Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening!
Random image I found that was kind of relevant... Don't even ask.

 Hope you've all had a good week, especially those who have been on half-term. But unfortunately for you, and me, it's back to school bright and early tomorrow and some pleasantly monstrous science exams on Wednesday.  Can't wait for that...

 Back to the week at hand however, and I certainly saw a lot of movies. True Grit, Paul and Gnomeo & Juliet were the week's cinema trips and all 3 were greatly enjoyable in their own rights. On the DVD side of things, I caught Four Lions, Legion and Fight Club. Four Lions was good, as far as satire about terrorist bombers go. Legion; meh. But Fight Club (I know, it's rather embarrassing that I haven't seen it before...) definitely surprised with it's thriller type twists... I genuinely thought it'd just be about, you know... Fighting.

  As for the blog, things are running rather smooth. I hit 600 hits today, which is always a good achievement I guess. 500 would have been a better place to celebrate, but that's come and gone now, so 600 will have to do. The Paul RE:View should be coming shortly, as voted by you guys (all nine of you!), although I really should have had it out yesterday... Trailer Tuesday this week is already written and ready, and I can officially confirm that there is absolutely no Marvel involved! What it actually is, you'll have to wait for, but I'm sure it'll be a hit if you liked the movie's predecessor and I'm confident that you did.

 That's all for today, as I'm kinda tired after a good day in London and I have some... stuff to do. But never fear, I'll make this Supdate (get it?) into a weekly regular. So I'll be spilling some more verbal stuff all over the internet for you all to carefully read with regulated enthusiasm, next Sunday, when I'll be 15 and 1 Day! Anyway, stay safe, and stay tuned.

Thursday, 24 February 2011

RE:View: Stacking

Russian nesting dolls.
 In a game.
 About child labour.

 Now I wouldn't blame you if you thought I was joking here. Seriously, the setup sounds ridiculous, right? Surely it can't work! Well, I'm not joking, because this is Stacking, the latest downloadable game from Tim Schafer's "Double Fine" studios, the creators of such titles as Brutal Legend, Psychonauts and The Secret of Monkey Island. An adventure-puzzler game at it's core, Stacking is a cute and approachable game that leaks charm out of all and every orifice with increasing style and fun.

  The premise: You play as Charlie Blackmore, youngest of a large family and the smallest doll in the industrial age of the world. But when the Blackmore father goes missing, the family comes in to debt and the evil Baron forces the children to work to pay it off, with the exception of tiny Charlie. So, embarking on an epic adventure which will take him on the likes of shiny zeppelins and grand cruise-liners, Charlie sets out to free his poor siblings from the dastardly clutches of the Baron, with the help of his rather odd ability to control other dolls by hopping inside them.

 From the off, the story sounds rather depressing with it's themes of child labour and debt, but luckily it's counteracted by the tongue-in-cheek humour used to portray the sadness, along with the silent-movie type cut-scenes that add charm and style to the presentation and narrative. Seeing the various dolls perform goofy animations a top some witty dialogue can often be a joy to watch and helps to distance itself from the heavy topics previously mentioned.

Childish but irresistible laughs
 In between these sometimes lengthy and frequent cut-scenes (which may frustrate some impatient players), is of course the gameplay. As you roam around the dainty little diorama settings, you're given various objectives, involving some sort of challenge you must overcome. But it's how to go about these challenges that brings the main gameplay mechanic forwards; stacking. As the smallest doll in the world, naturally you're not going to solve these trials alone. So, to get by, Charlie must hop into other dolls, all with their own unique abilities, and use their certain talents to complete the objectives. For example, to get a guard away from his gate, you can hop into the alluring female doll and use her powers of seduction to lure him away, allowing you to unstack and sneak through. But it's not that easy, as you need to stack into a doll exactly one size larger than your current one, so you can't go straight from little kid to heavyweight boxer in one fell stack.

A classic problem

 These challenges can then be revisited in a number of different ways, allowing re-playability and forcing your brain to think of several different solutions at once. You can move on after you've found an immediate answer, but I often found myself trying to find all solutions before continuing. However, if you do get stuck there is a helpful hint system, which, while handy, can ruin the puzzle aspect of game at times, as it's easy to abuse and the cool-down time is a joke.

  The scenery you find yourself stacking around is full of vibrancy and life, even though the things inhabiting it are essentially inanimate, wooden objects. The sweet cartoon style works well in this lavish world of wackiness and slap-stick, and the sluggish camera doesn't hinder the views too much, giving the player an incentive to explore the landscape to see all. Plus the sound is a quiet delight with some sweet little fanciful music and well matched sound effects to compliment the overall fun.

The visuals are definitely a treat 
  Though short, the experience definitely gives you 4-5 hours of enjoyment, especially since there are plenty of unique dolls to find and "Hi-Jinks" (little mini-challenges that are doll specific) to conquer once the main story has finished. Whether or not I'd revisit it after I'd achieved 100% is yet to be seen, but with no other modes outside of the story it's quite unlikely. But hey, it's a downloadable title, so what do you expect? At 1200 Microsoft Points or £10 on PSN, this is an absolute steal and an entirely unique experience that you wouldn't get anywhere else.

+ Cute and Charming
+ Unique Gameplay
+ Nice Sounds and Visuals
- Short and Easy
- Lengthy Cut-Scenes (Impatient)
- Sluggish Camera

Stacking: 7/10

Well that was my first (kind of) game review. I hope you enjoyed it and yeah, I know I ripped all the pictures off of Gamespot. So what? Sue me. Wait, no, don't to that... I certainly enjoyed my time with the game and I hope this review might prompt you to want to try it as well. Remember, there's always a free demo for downloadable titles, so give it a go if you've got the time.

Before you go, please vote on my latest poll to have your say on what movie I review next. You've got until around 10 AM Saturday (British time) to have your say, so get them votes in now! Thanks for reading and I'll see you all soon, or at least my words will. Stay safe now!

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

More Doodles!

Crazy Scraggaly Guy 

Flower Granny

Frankie say RELAX
Yep, that's your dose of doodley goodness for now. Nothing special this time, but stay around for the next batch, because there's one in there which I just now will blow your effing mind until your brains pop out your ears and you become an institutionalised vegetable in some sort of horrific care home! Have a good day now!

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Trailer Tuesday: Thor

I am a horrible person...

Yeah that's right, I broke a promise; another Marvel movie. And, I'm sorry about that, but they literally only just released this. What could I do? I had no choice, you got to believe me! It was either this or Mars Needs Moms... And beside, this formula's been working so far, so why not again? I hope you find some mercy deep down in your hearts and forgive me. Please, just grant me one more chance...

Okay, groveling over, lets get down to business.

"The Mighty Thor, a powerful but arrogant warrior whose reckless actions reignite an ancient war. Thor is cast down to Earth and forced to live among humans as punishment. Once here, Thor learns what it takes to be a true hero when the most dangerous villain of his world sends the darkest forces of Asgard to invade Earth." - Wikipedia Plot Summary

Here, for proper link with bigger screen and better quality. 

  • 0:08-0:15 - Thor's crash site, or soon to be crashsite, is being checked over by who we can only assume to be S.H.I.E.L.D., the group behind assembling The Avengers. This is actually the site glimpsed at the end of Iron Man 2, once the credits had rolled, where the agent finds the hammer, Mjolnir. 
  • 0:16 - A storm is brewing... The same storm that Thor falls from to crash down onto Earth.
  • 0:22 - 0:26 - Warp speed, anyone? No, this must be Thor falling from the skies.
  • 0:30 - Natalie Portman as Jane Foster with her friend, Darcy, and Dad(?) finding Chris Hemsworth's Thor for the first time. As you can see, he's not very happy about just being hit by their car, old viking speak included.
  • 0:37 - And I don't think he's going to be very happy about being tazered either...
  •  0:47 - Thor's been taken to hospital and he still does not look happy...
  • 0:50 - Definitely not happy now that he's throwing doctors around. First glimpse of his impressive strength though.
  • 0:54 - One for the ladies; ripped Hemsworth. Kat Dennings' Darcy definitely approves...
  • 1:02 - The ladies certainty have a lot of questions for the weird, semi-god, homeless viking man they've just found. Can't think why.
  • 1:07 - INTERNET MEME ALERT! Thor, at a small-town diner, is rather impressed with his coffee and smashes it on the floor for more. Just read some comments on the actual Youtube link to see how popular it's become. My favourite is "I like this woman, ANOTHER *smashes Natalie Portman*". 
  • 1:13 - A close encounter with Portman gets Thor talking about magic and shit. Stay off drugs, kids.
  • 1:18 - Epic ice place: where Thor comes from, Asgard, I'm guessing.
  • 1:19-1:22 - Action time! Thor faces off against some Frost Giants. Not the use of his hammer, Mjolnir, as a boomerang. Whether these section will be in flashbacks or not, is unknown, but I think it is.
  • 1:25 - Hello big futuristic city! Asgard in all its glory.
  • 1:29 - Thor kneels before Zod Odin (the legendary Anthony Hopkins), his father, and swears to protect the innocent.
  • 1:32 - Frost Giant army. Looking chilly. And I do believe that's their King, Ymir, standing at the front.
  • 1:34 - Close up of Mjolnir.
  • 1:35 - Meet Loki, the movie's antagonist. He's the adopted brother of Thor and has all kinds of crazy-ass abilities. Here's hoping for an awesome showdown at the end of the film.
  • 1:39 - Loki all suited up. By the sounds of it, he wants to destroy humanity with that staff he just picked up! 
  • 1:42 - Is it a man? Is it a robot? Is it a god?
  • 1:51 - No, it's... a suit of armour? Yeah, it's called Destroyer. Basically it's this thing controlled by the almighty leader of Asgard (Thor's daddio), Odin. But he's not actually in it, he just controls it. So either Odin is testing Thor, to see if he will protect the people, or Loki's somehow got hold of it and is attacking. Either way, looks like an awesome fight's in store, especially after it blows cars up.
  • 1:56 - STOP!
  • 1:57 - HAMMER TIME!
  • 1:58-2:04 - Various explosions, battles and people running.
  • 2:05 - Now this has been quite a topic of controversy. This is the Norse sentry, Heimdall, who stands on the rainbow bridge, Bifrost, and keeps Asgard safe from attack. But the problem is he's being played by a Black actor (I so wanted to just put Blacktor.) and this wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for this:  "Heimdall was said to be the 'brightest of the Gods' or the 'whitest of the Gods'". Now, I'm not bothered in the slightest of who plays him, but some hardcore mythologists are getting pretty pissed about the fact that all Norsemen were white and he's obviously not. I can see where they are coming from, but seriously, who cares? It's just a film and if he plays the role well then it's fine. And the irony is that it's the RAINBOW bridge he sits on. Something of many colours...
  • 2:06 - That's the rainbow bridge i just mentioned, called Bifrost. Kind of trippy, right?
  • 2:08-2:12  - Lots of hitting and fighting, including old timer Odin (Hopkins) getting in on some.
  • 2:15 - King of the Frost Giants, Ymir, unleashes some crazy yeti dog for Thor to deal with.
  • 2:27 - May 6th, 3D, Curtain.

So there you go, that's Thor. It does look pretty awesome, but out of the 3 Marvel movies coming this year, this is the one I'm least hyped for. Should still be good though. Well, hopefully that'll end my streak of Marvel movie trailers and I should be back next week with something different. Honest this time.

Oh, and sorry for the delay on the next RE:View. It'll be coming, by Friday at the latest. Still more doodles and quotes to come too, so stick around, you might just learn something.

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Right in the O2, Right Yesterday!

Last night I hauled up to London's O2 Arena to witness Russell Howard's third live tour, entitled "Right Here, Right Now", hence the post title. As it being my first experience of live comedy, I was very excited and curious as to what it would be like. But let me tell you, fine people of my readers, it certainly did not disappoint. Russell's stand up was superb, with side splitting stories, audience banter and some excellent slagging off of both Twilight and Justin Bieber. I was in stitches at one point as he explained how he once was caught masturbating by a burglar when he was 14, after having a healthy dose of Weetabix!

  The atmosphere was also great, as I sat among the other 14,999 people who had purchased such hilarity. It was amazing to think that all these people around me, from all different walks of life, had flocked all the way here to see just one man. And to carry roughly 3 hours of material, to that many people without a supporting act is a true credit to Russell's talent.

 It was a spectacular evening of laughs, laughs and more laughs and one I would highly recommend to anyone with a half-decent sense of humour. Russell is such a universal comedian, and so literally everyone can enjoy it. If you can't get tickets now, then I cannot urge you enough to get the DVD when it hits stores on the 14th of November. It may be a long wait, but trust me when I say it's definitely worth it.

For more on Russell Howard, here's his:
Wikipedia Page
Official Website
And don't forget to catch him on Mock The Week and Russel Howard's Good News

Friday, 18 February 2011

Quotes of The Day!

To spice up my Blog template I've added a "Quote of The Day" section at the top. Here I'll be putting something funny, clever or awesome that I've heard within the day, to add some longevity to the Blog overall. For today, it's a classic Toby Turner/Tobuscus:

"You guys just sit tight, I'm the awesome one. Got it? Good."

 You can expect ones like this, along with stuff uttered to my very ears. So if you know me, and you say something memorable to me, then maybe you could end up on here...

  Other changes include the Google followers gadget being removed, because it looked kind of tacky and I'm sure no one ever gave it a proper thought. Plus there are now some fish at the bottom of every page, and just one click from your very own mouse can send them into a feeding frenzy, so look out for them little guys. You don't want 'em to go hungry now, do you?

 That's all for today, but rest assured my next RE:View should be up sometime across the weekend, and there'll be plenty more quotes, doodles and trailer for you to stick around for as well. Plus, I'm likely to write some satirical nonsense quite soon, after a rather enlightening English lesson on the subject. Look sharp, people.

Thursday, 17 February 2011

RE Doodles!

And not in the cool, RE:View way!

Not mine, but equally as awesome.
Now, I didn't take art as one of my options for GCSE, having felt my specialty lied within words, but in some ways, I am doing art.
I call it, Religious Studies.
Here's a few of my simple pen musings:


Despicable Me look-a-like (pedophile) plus minion 

Moustached Cyclops

That's your lot for today, but rest assured, there'll be more to come. I thought I'd drip feed them, rather than all out mega post them, so they're primed, but not ready for action just yet.
Stay tuned, people...

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Trailer Tuesday: X-Men: First Class

I know, I know, another Marvel movie... I was going to do something else, but this trailer just blew me away, so I just can't resist. I'll try and do something different next week... Promise.

Anyway, onto the trailer at hand, here's the Wikipedia Plot Summary:

"Before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto’s Brotherhood and Professor X’s X-Men." 

Click here for the actual link, especially if you want 1080p HD goodness.

And the rundown, including some of my own included facts and speculation:

  •  0:00-0:30 - Some dramatically done character intros for Magneto and Prof X (or, should I say, Charles and Erik), featuring some tight snippets from the original X-Men trilogy. Plus, first shots of James McAvoy (Wanted) and Michael Fassbender (Inglorious Basterds) as their respective characters.
  • 0:44 -  Here's the whole mutant gang together in Charles' mansion, atop a JFK speech regarding the Cuba Missile Crisis of 1962. That's right, it's set in the 60's.
  • 0:48 - Same scene as above, but what's interesting here is that Erik/Magneto is holding a gun in his right hand. ???
  • 0:53-1:04 - Now here each individual mutant gets a shot, so I'll detail them each in chronological order, starting with:
  1.  Emma Frost - a future villain who posses powers of Telepathy and the ability to shape shift into diamond form (see 1:19) - inside a glass box/prison cell.
  2.  Next shown is the mutant known as Angel/Tempest, who has magnificent bug like wings on her back, as demonstrated as she shows Charles and Erik while...topless. Note the tattoos on her left shoulder, which resemble her wings, so maybe that's her way of concealing them. 
  3. Then it's Beast, who you may remember form the original films as the big blue monster guy. Here he's in human form, as played by Nicholas Hoult (Skins,  About a Boy), and is holding a needle, presumably holding a serum linked to his powers of beastliness (see 1:12/1:17).
  4.  After that, Havok is shown in some sort of boiler room. Havok is Cyclops' younger brother and like him can fire energy beams, but from his chest rather than eyes (see 1:21). 
  5. Token black guy, Darwin here; a mutant who has the strange power of radioactive evolution, (hence Darwin) which means he adapts and develops an immunity/resistance to anything he was injured by or exposed to. Cool, right?
  6. Now this is Moira MacTaggert, the only human one of the team. She acts as the group's link to the CIA...Interesting.
  7. Finally, it's original films classic, Mystique (you know, the weird blue shape shifting lady...), looking like she's ready for some sexy-time.
  8. Although not in this section, but seen in the mansion part is Banshee, a mutant who can emit super sonic screams (something I can also do from time to time).
  • 1:09 - Okay, back to the footage now, and here is Erik and Charles on a jet plane over a certain ocean, readying for some sort of battle. Also seen here are the original yellow and blue outfits seen in the classic comics.
  • 1:12 - Beast flying a jet in all of his over-sized furby glory.
  • 1:13 - ...That's a lot of missiles...
  • 1:16 - Aggressive looking Magneto making a Soviet soldier turn his own knife on himself. That's brutal, even if he was a communist....
  • 1:17 - Ahh, the transformation of Beast. But the question is, who's the better blue? Avatar or Beast?
  • 1:19 - First look at Kevin Bacon (no eggs included) as antagonist, Sebastian Shaw, leader of what's known as the Hellfire Club, a society for wealthy elites looking to "sway" certain world events. Alongside him is the previously mentioned Emma Frost, this time showing us her diamond form.
  • 1:20 - Pre-fur Beast in action, followed by him possibly getting it on with Mystique. Ooh la la!
  • 1:21 - A peek at Havok's chest beams power. Nice beans/beams.
  • 1:22 - Magneto stabbing some guys hand in a bar. Standard UK pub stuff, really.
  • 1:24 - An early version of the Cerebro machine, used by Professor X in the original movies to detect fellow Mutants.
  • 1:25 - Remember Night Crawler, from X-Men 2 or X2? He was the blue guy who could teleport into smoke and had an awesome tail. Well here is his red-ass Daddio, looking Satan like as he uses similar powers to cut down some government looking guys. His name is Azazel, after an old Jewish demon thingy and is being played by Jason Flemyng (Lock Stock, Clash of The Titans). 
  • 1:30 - Magneto in full costume standing in the same room Emma Frost was seen in earlier. Coincidence? I think not!
  • 1:32 - The beginning of the fall into darkness... Charles tries to stop Erik from doing bad shit.
  • 1:36-1:40 - Magneto picking up an entire submarine with one hand (only one!) over some sort of naval battle scene. Note the Russian flag flailing on one of the boats and the island in the background. Could this be how the Cuban Missile Crisis was really stopped?
  • 1:42 - The iconic X-Men logo. June 3rd people, mark your calendars. 
Congratulations to anyone who managed to actually trawl through all that info and I hope you feel more knowledgeable for it. So that's X-Men: First Class, the official prequel to the original films. I love how it's actually set among real world events and how it will all play out in the cold war era. Definitely going to be an interesting one. I'd also like to point out that it's being directed by Matthew Vaughn, director of one of my favourite films ever, Kick-Ass. That's it for this week, but come back next Tuesday when I'll have a non-Marvel trailer to inform you all about.

Monday, 14 February 2011

Colin Firth Triumphs Again

Bloody good show, old chap!
Well, that's another week and another poll. Last weeks topic was "Favourite Actor/Actress" out of either The Kings Speech or The Fighter, and for all of who voted, heres a pat on the back. But of course, there could be only one winner and it was, without a shadow of a doubt, the excellent Colin Firth. So that makes it a Golden Globe, a BAFTA and now the prestiged Dude Meister Poll Award. And in joint second place, for any of you who care, were The Fighter stars, Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale.

Next up poll-wise will be something in conjunction with my recently published Troll article, so remember to vote on that. That's all for today, but come back very soon because I've got an exciting new project brewing in the fore front of my mind... Plus, tomorrow is Trailer Tuesday so you can expect some more analysing and dissecting of a recent trailer and my next RE:View is due soon, this time focusing on a certain downloadable game... Stay tuned people.

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Trollers: Anonymous Comedians or Desperate Losers?

What's commonly known as the 'Trollface', associated with almost every Troll going.

Trolling: The act of purposefully antagonizing people on the internet, generally on message boards, to garner a reaction from the site's community.

The art of internet trolling is often that of complex integrity. But what is it that makes people want to log on to various websites, usually those they are the most uninterested in, and just piss people off? An unloved childhood? A constant need for attention? Or maybe just for some sought after laughs?

But before I delve deep into the inner minds of the modern day Troller, just imagine this: Something has gone wrong with your computer and you desperately need this (insert computer feature) that's stopped working . Unable to solve the problem yourself, you turn to the internet for answers. Naturally, your first stop is Yahoo Answers. Eager to fix the harrowing issue, you tap the question in with alarming speed and hit the enter button like there's no tomorrow. Then, with your question published you rapidly press F5 to refresh your page. 5 minutes pass, then 10... Your finger begins to ache when finally an answer appears. Sweat dripping across your brow, you read the fine samaritan's answer with increased anticipation. But this is no good samaritan, as your hope turns to anger when your mind makes the connection: I've just been trolled. More and more answers pop up, some linking you to the torturous Rick Roll vids, others making sarcy comments about your accidental misspelling. In the end, your question is never answered and your problem never rectified. Turning to violence you track down these Trolls and go on a murderous killing spree before turning your ( insert preferred weapon of choice) on yourself...

Okay, so maybe you're not going to go that far (kudos if you do though), but you get the idea of how infuriating these web-pests can be. Everyday, normal people looking for healthy discussion on the WWW are harassed and bugged by these people for no apparent reason other than simply existing. Do they seriously not have anything better to do? The truth of the matter is, if you ever do get Trolled, you've just got to picture the sweaty, greasy haired, wank-a-lot loner behind the screen, and think just how pathetic that loser is.

True 'Dat
I am, however, perhaps being a little naive about the subject. I mean, it's only a certain type of Troller I am describing above, not the whole Troller community. They're not all disgusting, asthmatic men, living in their Mum's basement playing World of Warcraft all day. Some of these guys can actually be quite funny when their sights are set on the right people. Uptight, internet know-it-alls deserve to be taken down a peg once in a while and as for those perves prowling Chat Roulette and Omegle: Yeah, they should get a Micheal Jackson GIF shoved in their faces when stroking their man parts.

Mayhap these cyberspace peeves are just looking for some justice: the nerd way. People who want to right a few wrongs of the internet, without resorting to the flimsy 'Report' button to get it done. Their methods are unorthodox and their reasons rather weak, but if  they can knock a few unlicensed cars off of the electronic highway, while adding comedy into the mix, then maybe these types of Trolls are worthwhile.

So whether it's the Greasy Loser or The Vigilante Geek you're dealing with, just take a minute to think of who's behind the keyboard and whether it's really worth the argument... Remember, the best way to deal with a Troll is to ignore them, no reaction=no satisfaction. Either that or summon Gandalf to turn them stone. Just personal preference, really. So stay safe out there while surfing and browsing, and teach those mean Trolls a lesson! And so to sing us out:

If you need some extra help with how to deal with Trolls, here's an in depth guide: Yeah here.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Trailer Tuesday: Captain America

So here's the first trailer (well, more of a TV spot) for Captain America The First Avenger, aired during the Super Bowl last weekend. From the 30 seconds given, it looks pretty sweet.

"In 1942, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is deemed physically unfit to enlist in the U.S. Army and fight the Nazis in World War II. Volunteering instead for Project: Rebirth, a secret military operation, he is physically transformed into a super-soldier dubbed Captain America. With sidekick Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), he fights the Red Skull (Hugo Weaving), Hitler's treacherous head of advanced weaponry, whose own plan for world domination involves a seemingly magical object known as the Tesseract." - Wikipedia Plot Summary

 Here's the rundown of what's inside:

  • 0:04-A rather thin looking Chris Evans as Steve Rodgers/Captain America (maybe a different actor for the 'thin' parts) getting strapped into a body enhancing machine.
  • 0:08-Guys smashing through windows, obviously.
  • 0:09-More 'thin' Evans, this time with a doctor, presumably telling him what's going to happen in this machine.
  • 0:14-One for the ladies; beefy Evans emerges.
  • 0:16/17-First glimpse of the Cap in action, shield and all. Plus some fancy ass-kicking acrobats.
  • 0:19-Jet plane fly over (presumably transporting the Cap) and very short blink-and-you'll-miss-it clip of Captain America on his motorbike with shit blowing up around him-awesomeness-and then him running through forests with more explosions and shield swinging.
  • 0:21-Steve Rodgers, in army gear, leading a team into battle including an Asian, who knew?
  • 0:22-Underwater outfit-less Cap smashing some subs (not the sandwiches).
  • 0:23-Cap surrounded by flamethrower dudes.
  • 0:24-Another very quick shot, this time giving us our first look at Red Skull, looking... uh, red.
  • 0:25-Love interest Peggy Carter(Hayley Atwell) proving just how indestructible the Cap's shield really is.  
  • 0:29-Title and release date (22 July 2011) show along with 'Real-D 3D' logo.
Yeah, pretty cool. Definitely looks like the focus is on WW2 and the Cap kicking some Nazi bottom, which is always a good thing. Let's just hope the focus will remain more on character, like in Iron Man, and won't get too distracted with explosions and action. That's it for this Trailer Tuesday, and, if you stick around long enough, this might even become a weekly thing...

Saturday, 5 February 2011

RE:View: The Fighter vs The King's Speech

21 Oscar nominations, 4 Golden Globes and a Metacritic score of 167.
To say that the combined amount of accolades awarded to both movies is unimpressive, is practically blasphemy against everything that cinema stands for. So what is it that's has made these relatively low budget films into international successes?

  Of course, a film cannot be a good film without a compelling story, and both movies have it in abundance. The Fighter tells the true life tale of struggling boxer Micky Ward, as he clambers for fame all the while in the shadow of his former boxer brother, Dickie. But it's a troubled road to glory, as Micky must fight not just his opponents in the ring, but also his over pushy family in his personal life. The King's Speech, on the other hand, is all about King George VI, as he battles to overcome his confidence crushing st-st-st-stammer with the help of Australian speech therapist Lionel Logue during a pre-WW2 Britain. So, they're both true stories and, at heart, both about courage. But with overall development of that courage, I think The King's Speech does better with it's mind firmly set on the one goal, not the overarching challenges seen in The Fighter, but both deserve commendation for narrative.

    What surprised me about both films however, was the comedic side and how funny they actually were. I mean, who'd of thought that while watching a period drama invovling speech impediments, I'd be laughing 50% of the time? Or that out of the depressing themes (such as drug addiction and pressure) in The Fighter, such brilliantly funny moments could crop up? The King's Speech in particular has a genuinely unexpected and hilarious scene which I shan't ruin for you, but you'll know it when you see it..

 But possibly the greatest part of both films is the acting. The casting has been chosen very carefully in both cases, cultivating in some fantastic ensemble performances. In The Fighter's corner, you've got Mark Wahlberg as leading man Mickey Ward, allowing Wahlberg to really make up for previous mistakes such as The Other Guys and M.Night Shyamalan's god awful The Happening. Alongside him is the perfectly placed Christian Bale as Dickie Ward, the crack head older brother. It's really good to see Bale coming away from his action blockbuster, gruff guy roles to play the cooky and complex Dickie, with no husky voice to be heard anywhere. Then there's Amy Adams as love interest Charlene, changing up her whole 'good girl' setup for this well played 'sexy bitch' role. And of course there's Melissa Leo as pushy mum Alice, balancing the character perfectly with spite and remorse.

Left to Right: Leo, Bale, Wahlberg and Adams

  Meanwhile, on team King, there's pretty much every respectable mature British actor out there. Colin Firth gives the performance of a lifetime as the lovable and reluctant king himself, making it easy to see why he's been nabbing all the Best Actor awards lately and Geoffrey Rush is just splendid as Lionel, the speech therapist, adding style and energy to the part. Helen Bonham Carter is her usually dignified self, acting as a great pillar for Firth to lean upon. Other highlights include Micheal Gambon (Dumbeldore) as predecessor and father, King George V and Timothy Spall's rather interesting take on Winston Churchill; no joke. Plus, Outnumbered's Ramona Marquez also makes a quaint appearance as a young Princess Margaret.

Left to Right: Rush, Carter and Firth

  The King's Speech uses this incredibly clean and simple style of direction, using close up facial shots to get across the characters emotions and feelings and doesn't waste time on busy and moving action scenes. The score is entirely original, with simple and charming melodies similar to those you'd hear those days. It's well fitted and helps to build emotion around the tale. Director Tom Hooper has really taken his time on such details as that and it shows throughout.

 The Fighter, on the other hand, opts for this kind of gritty style, often as if it was a documentary. This kind of stuff really shines during the boxing matches themselves, presented like original footage live from HBO in 1993. Here, director David O. Russel goes for the realism approach, drawing audiences into the story and it pays off all the better. The soundtrack is all what you'd expect from a boxing movie; rock-type uprising tracks  but with a feel sentimental ones thrown in too.

      These are both groundbreaking movies, no matter how much they differentiate from each other. At the end of the day, it really depends on personal opinion as to which one's the best. I found both to be profoundly moving, heartwarming and uplifting. Whether it was the charm of The King's Speech or the realism of The Fighter, both exceed in what they're trying to do and both actually teach you something, be it history or moral.

  I find it hard to pick between them, but if I was you I'd think "What is it I want to see now? A charmingly fun and moving period drama or a more modern uplifting tale of victory, family and fights?". But which ever one you don't choose immediately, make sure you catch it sometime, because you'd be missing out if you didn't.

The King's Speech: 5/5 Stars
The Fighter: 5/5 Stars

Wow, 2 hours that took. 2 hours! Glad to see the back of it to be honest with you, but I hope you like it none the less. I realise it's a bit sketchy and nowhere near the quality you'd find on official review sites or anything like that, but as long as you get what I'm putting across, I'm happy. Thanks for reading.

Thursday, 3 February 2011

Sloooow Week and Other Subjects


Insert Related Picture That I'm Too Lazy To Find, Here

Yeah, well sorry I haven't been giving this all the TLC I should have been lately, but I've been kind of busy/tired/stoned. Anyway, I should have a new RE:View up over the weekend, including not one but two critically acclaimed movies! 'Nuff said.

     Moving on, how about all that stuff in Egypt? Pretty crazy, huh? I guess this 'Pharaoh's not going to get a good afterlife, no matter how much they wrap him up. Yeah, bad puns aside, it's getting pretty serious out there. 8 dead, 890 injured and still stones (oh, how developed the Eastern world is) and gunfire being shared. I don't get why this Mubarak guy doesn't just flee now and get it over with, because it's got to happen sometime. Even if he just steps down now, there's still going to be violence toward him, let alone what it would be like in September when he plans to go. But I guess that's politics for you...

  Now, before I become a foreign correspondent on ITV news for my excellent analysis of current world affairs, I'd like to talk about everybody's favourite real life 'Super Hero', Phoenix Jones. According to the 10 votes counted, the majority of my readers think he's a pervert. So all my heartfelt stuff about how he's going against the flow and has humongous (metaphorical) balls really didn't sway any of you? Wow, really? No one? Oh hang on there was one vote for hero... No wait, I think that was just me. Damn, knew I shouldn't have included that last statement... But thanks to everyone who voted, even if you did use 3 computers to get your result.

  So don't forget to visit here on either Sunday or Monday for my head to head RE:View extravaganza, and have a good Friday.