Quote of the Day

"We're only here briefly, and while I'm here I want to allow myself joy. So fuck it."
- Amy, Her.

Sunday 13 February 2011

Trollers: Anonymous Comedians or Desperate Losers?

What's commonly known as the 'Trollface', associated with almost every Troll going.

Trolling: The act of purposefully antagonizing people on the internet, generally on message boards, to garner a reaction from the site's community.

The art of internet trolling is often that of complex integrity. But what is it that makes people want to log on to various websites, usually those they are the most uninterested in, and just piss people off? An unloved childhood? A constant need for attention? Or maybe just for some sought after laughs?

But before I delve deep into the inner minds of the modern day Troller, just imagine this: Something has gone wrong with your computer and you desperately need this (insert computer feature) that's stopped working . Unable to solve the problem yourself, you turn to the internet for answers. Naturally, your first stop is Yahoo Answers. Eager to fix the harrowing issue, you tap the question in with alarming speed and hit the enter button like there's no tomorrow. Then, with your question published you rapidly press F5 to refresh your page. 5 minutes pass, then 10... Your finger begins to ache when finally an answer appears. Sweat dripping across your brow, you read the fine samaritan's answer with increased anticipation. But this is no good samaritan, as your hope turns to anger when your mind makes the connection: I've just been trolled. More and more answers pop up, some linking you to the torturous Rick Roll vids, others making sarcy comments about your accidental misspelling. In the end, your question is never answered and your problem never rectified. Turning to violence you track down these Trolls and go on a murderous killing spree before turning your ( insert preferred weapon of choice) on yourself...

Okay, so maybe you're not going to go that far (kudos if you do though), but you get the idea of how infuriating these web-pests can be. Everyday, normal people looking for healthy discussion on the WWW are harassed and bugged by these people for no apparent reason other than simply existing. Do they seriously not have anything better to do? The truth of the matter is, if you ever do get Trolled, you've just got to picture the sweaty, greasy haired, wank-a-lot loner behind the screen, and think just how pathetic that loser is.

True 'Dat
I am, however, perhaps being a little naive about the subject. I mean, it's only a certain type of Troller I am describing above, not the whole Troller community. They're not all disgusting, asthmatic men, living in their Mum's basement playing World of Warcraft all day. Some of these guys can actually be quite funny when their sights are set on the right people. Uptight, internet know-it-alls deserve to be taken down a peg once in a while and as for those perves prowling Chat Roulette and Omegle: Yeah, they should get a Micheal Jackson GIF shoved in their faces when stroking their man parts.

Mayhap these cyberspace peeves are just looking for some justice: the nerd way. People who want to right a few wrongs of the internet, without resorting to the flimsy 'Report' button to get it done. Their methods are unorthodox and their reasons rather weak, but if  they can knock a few unlicensed cars off of the electronic highway, while adding comedy into the mix, then maybe these types of Trolls are worthwhile.

So whether it's the Greasy Loser or The Vigilante Geek you're dealing with, just take a minute to think of who's behind the keyboard and whether it's really worth the argument... Remember, the best way to deal with a Troll is to ignore them, no reaction=no satisfaction. Either that or summon Gandalf to turn them stone. Just personal preference, really. So stay safe out there while surfing and browsing, and teach those mean Trolls a lesson! And so to sing us out:


If you need some extra help with how to deal with Trolls, here's an in depth guide: Yeah here.

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